Over the weekend the Sexual Chocolates suffered a major set back to the reunion tour when Spark Plug was committed to a local "mental health facility." After 12 hours straight playing Elves and Pixies on the XBox, the boys went to get some cereal and beer at an Albertson's. They were debating Fruit Loops or Lucky charms when a Foreigner song began playing throughout the store, triggering the rage center of Spark Plug's brain. Spark has a long history of blood lust and hate when it comes to the band Foreigner. No one is really sure why, but anyone whose experienced one of Spark's Foreigner rages knows it's power. And destruction.
Luckily, they were near the lady business aisle so Crazy Dave was able to grab a tampon and wedge it between Spark's gnashing teeth to prevent him biting his tounge off. In order to calm him down, Trick Lee shoved a pot roast down Spark's pants then rocked him gently while singing "I Think I'm Turning Japanese". Eventually, Spark was calm enough to be led out of the store and onto a short bus headed straight for Terrell.
Check back for updates. Let's keep Spark and the boys in our prayers....
Monday, March 9, 2009
Monday, February 16, 2009
Ahoy, Matey!
Hey, all you Sexual Chocolates fans! Below is a pic of Crazy Dave at the band's latest gig- a hip Red Lobster on 635. The guys had to ditch their usual spandex for dress more appropriate to a mediocre fish restaurant, hence the ruffles. But our guys always give 100%! Trick Lee even tried to cut off his leg and replace it with a table leg, but we talked him into wearing an eye patch (we also had to assure him he didn't need to blind himself). Spark Plug took his pet parrot, Man Love, for authentic flair, but all hell broke loose when Man Love attacked the lobster tank, crapped on a shrimp cocktail, then tried to hump a stuffed marlin.
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The SC's only got to play two songs before they were asked to leave and never return. That was the biggest mistake The Lob has ever made and when the Sexual Chocolates are playing the next door Olive Garden they'll be sorry!
The band continues work on their new album so stay tuned for more updates!
Saturday, February 7, 2009
Don't Call It A Comeback
Welcome to the official Sexual Chocolates blog. Trick Lee, Crazy Dave, and Spark Plug have been hard at work getting ready for their reunion tour and this is the place where you'll learn all about the long hard road back to mediocre obscurity.
Each of the sexual chocolates had their own reason for leaving the stage and has traveled their own road back.
Spark Plug suffered an injury that took him away from the stage almost twenty years ago. During a show at the Sandy Lake Bumper Park Spark Plug mimed a sex act on a giant inflatable weenie, causing him to break his crotch. For Spark Plug, a broken crotch was a low blow. In his despair he battled many demons, chief among them a marker sniffing habit. But then Spark heard about Dr. Dingus and his revolutionary crotch procedure. With Dr. Dingus' help and after a lot of intensive crotch therapy, Spark Plug returns to the spotlight with his thrust capacity back to maximum!
Crazy Dave endured a small stint in a mental health facility when his ability to turn anything into a drum kit became an obsession. What he could do with a coffee filter, sauce pan, and strainer was greatly admired, but when he attempted to turn human remains into his latest drum set, it was clear he needed help. At first, Crazy Dave resisted therapy and instead used bedpans, IV bags, and other medical accouterments to create his own percussion section. With counseling and a whole lot of shock therapy, Crazy Dave eventually learned to control his drum building urges. He now returns to play the skins as a member of Sexual Chocolates.
Trick Lee survived death, but, for a time, wished he hadn't. Trick fell out with his band mates over his drinking. Trick had developed a taste for Zima and the rest of the band could not accept it. Some say Zima is the Yoko Ono of the Sexual Chocolates. After the band split, Trick tried his hand at a solo career with his first and only effort: Bag O' Trick. When Bag O' Trick sold only 4 copies, Trick's relationship with Zima deepened. He spent the next 15 years in a Zima coma, or a Zoma. It was only when Trick Lee caught Zima with a woman that he could finally let it go. With support from his former band mates he finally saw that Zima'd been into women the whole time.
Each member of Sexual Chocolates has made their own journey to find their way back together. Stay tuned for interviews with all three band members and classic video files.
Each of the sexual chocolates had their own reason for leaving the stage and has traveled their own road back.
Spark Plug suffered an injury that took him away from the stage almost twenty years ago. During a show at the Sandy Lake Bumper Park Spark Plug mimed a sex act on a giant inflatable weenie, causing him to break his crotch. For Spark Plug, a broken crotch was a low blow. In his despair he battled many demons, chief among them a marker sniffing habit. But then Spark heard about Dr. Dingus and his revolutionary crotch procedure. With Dr. Dingus' help and after a lot of intensive crotch therapy, Spark Plug returns to the spotlight with his thrust capacity back to maximum!
Crazy Dave endured a small stint in a mental health facility when his ability to turn anything into a drum kit became an obsession. What he could do with a coffee filter, sauce pan, and strainer was greatly admired, but when he attempted to turn human remains into his latest drum set, it was clear he needed help. At first, Crazy Dave resisted therapy and instead used bedpans, IV bags, and other medical accouterments to create his own percussion section. With counseling and a whole lot of shock therapy, Crazy Dave eventually learned to control his drum building urges. He now returns to play the skins as a member of Sexual Chocolates.
Trick Lee survived death, but, for a time, wished he hadn't. Trick fell out with his band mates over his drinking. Trick had developed a taste for Zima and the rest of the band could not accept it. Some say Zima is the Yoko Ono of the Sexual Chocolates. After the band split, Trick tried his hand at a solo career with his first and only effort: Bag O' Trick. When Bag O' Trick sold only 4 copies, Trick's relationship with Zima deepened. He spent the next 15 years in a Zima coma, or a Zoma. It was only when Trick Lee caught Zima with a woman that he could finally let it go. With support from his former band mates he finally saw that Zima'd been into women the whole time.
Each member of Sexual Chocolates has made their own journey to find their way back together. Stay tuned for interviews with all three band members and classic video files.
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